


Give Me All The Eggs and Existential Crises You Have

by fladoojo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 10:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12555008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fladoojo/pseuds/fladoojo
Summary: I started writing this last year in march, I think? I originally posted it on my writing sideblog on Tumblr and I'm currently rebooting that blog so I'll be deleting all of my writings on there and posting them here just for safe keeping. I've abandoned this series pretty much completely and don't plan on continuing it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this last year in march, I think? I originally posted it on my writing sideblog on Tumblr and I'm currently rebooting that blog so I'll be deleting all of my writings on there and posting them here just for safe keeping. I've abandoned this series pretty much completely and don't plan on continuing it.

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: Awful. Just Awful.

A/N: Not my gif and as Woozi’s hat says, hopefully this bad decision makes a good story.

_______________________________

Chapter 1

“I’m just saying,” you could practically hear Joshua raise his hand in defense over the phone, “Larry the Lobster didn’t have to impose his hyper-masculine views on Bikini Bottom’s society, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Go to sleep, Josh,” you dragged a hand down your face. It was almost eleven o'clock but you knew your best friend hadn’t slept even for a minute in the past three days. Instead of stress-crying like the rest of the student body, he exerted all of his exam frustrations into Spongebob discourse.

“I will but let me tell you about the receipts I found in Jimmy Neutron–”

“Joshua Francis Hong, if you don’t go to sleep right now, I’m not taking you Denny’s tomorrow.”

“You heathen,” he gasped, “I deserve Denny’s.”

“You deserve a euthanization. Plus, Denny’s is for winners.”

“I’m a winner!”

“Then why are you losing this argument against me?”

“… Touché,” he relented. “You at least want me to drop by to help you fold?”

“Nah, I brought my FlipFold this time,” you glanced at the blue plastic laundry folding device sitting next to you. “Just get some rest, okay?”

“You too,” Joshua said, “I need you in top condition for our Marvel marathon tomorrow night.”

“Of course,” you concurred, “Good night, Josh.”

“Good night, love you.”

“Love you, too.” You hung up finally. He had talked about white-passing Squidward for forty-one out of the fifty-three minutes that your clothes were in the washing machine. You really did love Joshua but finals week brought out the worst in him. But at least his worst was just him being a piece of Internet garbage and not, you know, drug abuse or refusing to shower.

You supposed another reason you and Josh were best buddies was because you also didn’t stress-cry in order to cope with exam frustrations. Instead, you did laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. When you were done doing your own laundry, you asked around and offered to do other people’s laundry free of charge. Tonight you were doing laundry for a certain Kwon Soonyoung. He was captain of the dance team and you found throwing his sweat stained t-shirts into the wash one by one oddly satisfying.

Maybe it was the rumble of the washers and dryers that help drown out all of the many anxious thoughts in your head. Or perhaps it was the aesthetic of a lonely night at a fluorescent-lit coin-operated laundromat that helped you to decelerate your busy and stressful life. Or maybe it was because the laundromat was just one street over from Denny’s. You found it all so calming and surreal.

When the wash was finished, you transferred Soonyoung’s clothes into a dryer and started it up. It would be another hour or so and you decided to use the time to get some more studying done for your history exam the next day. You were about to unload your textbook from your backpack when the bell above the entrance rang.

You didn’t know who or what you were expecting but you certainly weren’t expecting it to be another dead-looking college student like yourself. But you recognized him almost immediately by his pastel hair.

“Jihoon?” You raised an eyebrow. He was more dead-looking than any other student you had seen in the past week, and this was because of two reasons. The first was his eyes, which you could only describe in the form of a quote from that one SpongeBob episode where he gets stuck in Rock Bottom: “This isn’t your average everyday darkness. This is *dramatic zoom in* advanced darkness.” The second reason was that just above his right eyebrow was a small cut, with a trail of blood reaching down to his temple.

“Holy Oprah, are you okay?” You rushed over to him. You didn’t know Jihoon very well at all. He was a friend of Mingyu who was a friend of Wonwoo who was friend of Hansol who was a friend of Joshua who was your Platonic Soulmate™. But nevertheless, the kid was bleeding out of his forehead and you couldn’t help but be concerned.

Jihoon glanced around the laundromat with his advanced dark eyes until they finally settled on yours. “Oh, hey.”

“What happened?” You ignored his nonchalant greeting, “Over here, sit.” You tugged on his arm to lead him to one of the benches so you could inspect his wound but he wouldn’t budge.

“I need you… To take me to Denny’s.”

“Um,” your face contorted, “No?”

“I wasn’t asking.” You couldn’t read him. His eyes were so advanced dark you could barely look at them.

“But I was,” Your voice heightened at the end of your sentence, making it sound like a question. “And if you’re not going to answer, at least let me help you. I’m pretty sure I still have my first-aid kit in my backpack–”

“No. Denny’s. Now.” He nodded at the door.

“No!” You couldn’t believe the conversation you were having. Or at least tying to have.

His stare had you feeling like death. Of the two or three times you had ever spoken to him, you were always just a wee bit intimidated. You knew he wasn’t the type to joke around much and was also pretty introverted like you. You had so many questions and the one as to why he didn’t just go to Denny’s on his own was answered as you did your best to avoid eye contact with him. His sweatpants didn’t have any pockets and the only thing in the chest pocket of his v-neck was the key card to his dorm room.

This punk was trying to get a free meal out of you.

“Jihoon,” you said sternly, “Sit down right now, let me patch you up, and tell me what happened or we’re not going anywhere.”

The lavender-haired boy pressed his lips together in a tight line and breathed angrily out of his nose. Faster than a bullet, he swerved around you and grabbed a box of dryer sheets that someone had left on the folding table earlier. 

“Take! Me! To Denny’s!” He yelled as pelted dryer sheets at you, one after the other.

“What’re you– Stop!” Of course it didn’t hurt or anything and because of the air resistance, the dryer sheets barely even hit you. But it was weird and you didn’t like it. When he was out of dryer sheets, he threw the box at you and now you were pissed, for real.

“And I deserve a No Questions Asked, if you haven’t noticed!” He exclaimed, pointing at his head wound.

“This isn’t How I Met Your Mother, you cabbage!” You retorted, waving your arms around, “If anything, this is a cross between Community and Parks and Rec! I mean, just look at the title^^^^!”

“What? Shut up, and just,” he grabbed a fistful of his hair frustratedly, “give me some money or something, I’ll pay you ba–”

“Absolutely not,” you huffed, “How do I know you’re not on drugs right now, huh? I’m not an expert but I’m pretty sure trying to attack someone with a box of dryer sheets counts as a withdrawal symptom!”

“I’m not on drugs, I just want some friggin’ pancakes!” He fumed, “It’s been a rough night, okay!?”

Jihoon stormed over to the bench and sat hunched over with his elbows on his knees, rubbing his forehead but being careful to avoid his injury. And, even though you hated yourself for it, you felt for him.

Who doesn’t have a rough night every once in a while? That’s why you were at the laundromat in the first place, wasn’t it? People, places, things… It all gets to be too much at times. And perhaps Jihoon’s way of coping was through fighting and pancakes just as yours was through doing laundry. You didn’t doubt his words. You sighed and approached your backpack on the bench. You dug around in the front pocket of it until you got a hold of your first-aid kit.

“Fine,” you said, “I’ll take you to Denny’s.”

Jihoon looked up at you, a light filling his eyes.

“But I have some conditions,” you said as you began disinfecting his wound, to which he allowed, “One, you don’t have to pay me back but after you get fed, you do have to tell me how you got hurt. Two, you’re only allowed to order off the kids’ menu. And three, you have to help me fold this laundry when we get back.”

“Fine,” he glared at you and folded his arms over his chest as you placed a bandaid on his wound, pressing down it a little too hard just to spite him.

“Alright,” you swung your backpack onto your shoulders and grabbed your FlipFold, “To Denny’s!”


	2. Chapter 2

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: This chapter is boring and doesn’t pass the Bechdel test.

A/N: Plot hole from the last chapter- Jihoon also has his phone on him aside from his dorm key. Also what even is editing lol

______________________________

Chapter 2

After a short and silent walk, you and Jihoon arrived at that small garden of red and yellow flowers arranged to make the Denny’s logo. It was a true piece of modern art in your eyes, and you dreamed of rolling around in it.

“Um, what are you doing?” Jihoon’s voice cut into your thoughts, bringing you back to reality. You hadn’t noticed that you were standing in the grass about to kneel down in the flowers.

“Sorry,” you stood up straight and followed him into the restaurant. “It’s been a pretty weird night so far, huh?”

“I guess,” he shrugged. And that was the end of that conversation. It only got weirder with how quiet Jihoon generally was. It left you alone with your thoughts which were all over the place. Thanks to your wonderful best friend Joshua Elizabeth Hong, there was a part of your mind that was desperately trying to think of how problematic Jimmy Neutron could possibly be.

“Hi, welcome to De– Oh,” the waiter half-greeted.

“Seungkwan?” You and Jihoon said at the same time. The waiter sighed.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Jihoon said.

“No one is supposed to know I work here, that’s why I work the graveyard shift twice a week,” Seungkwan said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Anyway, sit wherever, I’ll be right with you.”

“Jihoon will be ordering off the kids’ menu!” You called after him as he walked away. Jihoon glared at you once more before sliding into a booth next to a. window.

“Joke’s on you,“Jihoon muttered, “I’m getting one of those Denny’s rocketship cups with the purple swirly straws and you’re paying for it.”

“Joke’s on you, I’m getting one too,” you replied, “And I’m going to tell everyone that we have matching Denny’s rocketship cups with purple swirly straws.”

“Oh, wow,” you heard Seungkwan’s all too familiar shade tone from a few tables over. You glanced over Jihoon’s shoulder to see what was happening, “Three dollars and twenty-six cents in change. That’s four cents more than your last tip. You are far too generous, sir.”

“Oooh,” you murmured. Watching Seungkwan get into drama was one of your favorite past times. You would never forget the time he and Jeonghan put each other on full blast after losing our middle school dumpling eating contest to Flannary Doogowitz. Jeonghan was never the same after that.

“Sorry, Seungkwan,” said the also all too familiar voice of Hansol Vernon Chwe, “Had to save some from the bus ride back to campus.”

“Uh, buses don’t run this late, remember?” Seungkwan said.

“What? Then how did I get home last time?”

“I drove you,” you heard the vein in Seungkwan’s forehead burst, “You fell asleep in this exact booth, waiting for my shift to end. I had to drag you to my car. You sleep-recited Isaac Newton’s three laws of motion the entire ride back. Do you really not remember any of this?”

Silence.

“Welp,” Hansol spoke finally, “Looks like we’re waiting again. Sorry, Wonwoo.”

You shifted to the side a bit to see if it was really Hansol and Wonwoo and, alas, it was. You sat up a little straighter.

“Please don’t,” Jihoon sighed.

“You guys can catch an uber with us if you want!” You called over to them and they both turned their heads at you in surprise.

“Oh, they want,” Seungkwan sassed, “They very much want.”

Hansol and Wonwoo got up from their table and made their way towards you as Seungkwan the remainder of their plates and trudged back to the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Hansaol said, taking the seat in front of you next to Jihoon who threw his head back and sighed even louder. “Also, long time no see.”

“I literally saw you like two hours ago,” you said but your voice kind of trailed off as Wonwoo climbed over your lap into the seat between you and window.

“Really?” Hansol asked. One might wonder if he was like this all the time or just during finals week. The answer could be found in the many conversations in which Joshua would rave about his Girls Generation bias Tiffany pretty much everyday, to which Hansol would respond with “who is that” and things of the like, every single time. And somehow, SOMEHOW, he graduated high school with honors and an academic scholarship.

“Is this a FlipFold?” Wonwoo had moved your plastic contraption so he could settle in his seat, “What a luxury.” He proceeded to open and close the panels repeatedly.

“No FlipFolds on the table,” Seungkwan said, arriving back from the kitchen, “This is a family establishment. Anyway, may I start you off with some drinks?”

Jihoon was about to speak but you cut him off, “Jihoon and I will have two rocketship cups of milk, please.”

“But I want apple juice,” Jihoon interjected.

“But you need some milk.”

“If that’s a short joke, I’m gonna piss all over your FlipFold.”

“It’s actually an Internet joke,” Hansol pointed out. “People say it about me all the time. I never know why.”

“Is anyone else seeing a vivid montage of Hansol walking into glass doors, falling out of trees, and that one time he got accidentally got decked by yours truly?” Seungkwan asked.

You, Wonwoo, and Jihoon all raised your hands.

“Anyway,” Seungkwan continued, “here are your menus, I’ll be back with your drinks.”

“Am I really that clumsy?” Hansol asked as Seungkwan walked away. You, Jihoon, and Wonwoo shared a few urgent glances at each other. As Jihoon opened his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.

“It’s not so much that you’re clumsy as it is that the universe seems to have a personal vendetta against you,” you said gently. Not that Hansol was the type to be very sensitive about these things, but you knew he had enough on his plate as it was.

“Oh,” Hansol looked confused for a moment. Then he shrugged. “Okay, then.”

“You may be a bit of an airhead,” Jihoon said, “But at least you’re not Flannary Doogowitz.”

“I hate Fl–”

“We know, Wonwoo. You hate Flannary Doogowitz. You hate Flannary Doogowitz so much you would jump off a building if that meant taking her down with you. You would sacrifice your own beating heart to erase any trace of her existence from history…”

You skimmed through the menu and Jihoon continued to ramble on about how much Wonwoo hated Flannary Doogowitz. It was strange though, you, Joshua, Hansol, Seungkwan and a few other friends knew Flannary Doogowitz since middle school and that was before you all had met Jihoon or Wonwoo. And yet the only thing you really knew about her was the fact that she could fit, like, seven dumplings in her mouth at once.

It peaked your curiosity and you were about to ask Wonwoo why he hated her so much when Seungkwan returned to your table, drinks in hand.

“You guys ready to order?” He asked. Even Seungkwan couldn’t hold much of a grudge against Flannary Doogowitz after all those dumplings.

“Oh! Can you order something with fries?” Wonwoo tugged on shirt sleeve.

“Enough with the fries, Wonwoo,” Seungkwan nagged.

“Nah, it’s alright,” you shrugged, “I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger with extra fries, please.”

“Seasoned or regular?”

“Seasoned!” Wonwoo cheered.

“Seasoned, it is,” you folded your menu and handed it back to Seungkwan.

“And what about you, Jihoon?”

“I’ll be having the Junior Grand Slam. I see here that the pancakes are mini pancakes. So instead of eggs, I’ll just have mini pancakes. And instead of bacon or sausage, I’ll have mini pancakes. And I’ll have mini pancakes instead of toast. And could you replace the hash browns with mini pancakes?”

“So essentially what you’re asking for is ten mini pancakes,” Seungkwan deadpanned.

“I’d prefer ten thousand but I’ll settle for sixteen,” Jihoon bargained.

“Then I’m settling for twelve,” you interjected, “I’m not waiting twelve mini pancakes for you to tell me what happened to you.”

“Fourteen,” Jihoon continued.

“Twelve, take it or leave it!”

“Thirteen, it is,” Seungkwan wrote in his notepad and walked away.

The wait for your food was filled with mindless chatter about finals and Hansol trying to get Jihoon to tell him about how he injured himself, even after you explained to him what the deal was. Wonwoo stared off into space as Wonwoo just does, absentmindedly taking sips of your rocketship milk. Sometimes you had to consciously remind yourself that the, at times, scary-looking boy next to you was actually a kpop trash can and cared intensely for his garden of succulents.

The four of you quieted down once the food arrived. You quickly and happily indulged in your meal while Hansol and Wonwoo pecked at your fries. And by pecked, you meant ‘tossed into each others’ mouths across the table’ (to which Seungkwan threaten to ban them).

Jihoon was on his final mini pancake and it wasn’t until he made eye contact with you that you realized how intently you were staring. But you couldn’t help. The curiosity was nagging at you for some time now and now the moment was finally arriving. Your whole night depended on the completion of one… last… mini pancake… You noticed your other two companions staring and waiting as well. Hansol’s leg was shaking underneath the table and Wonwoo had his elbows up on the table with his hands clasped in front of his mouth.

“You guys are the worst, by the way,” Jihoon said ad he took the last bite.

Hansol’s arms whammed down on the table, “HE’S DONE.”

“SPILL!” You demanded.

At that point, Seungkwan pulled up a chair at the end of your table. He whipped his phone out. “Alright, Jihoon. How’d you bust your head open? Try to keep it under a hundred and forty characters, though, if you don’t mind.”

Jihoon shot him a look.

“Ugh, fine, I’ll summarize,” Seungkwan said, resting his phone in his lap.

“Okay…” Jihoon let out a breath. “If you laugh at me, I’ll murder all of you in your sleep.”

“You got hurt,” you said, “We wouldn’t laugh about that.”

“Speak for yourself,” Seungkwan huffed.

You shot him a look.

“Alright, alright, I won’t laugh, geez.”

“Okay,” Jihoon began his story. “So I was just in bed, studying and whatnot. It was almost eleven and I was starting to wind down when I got a call from Mingyu. He was in hysterics and I could barely understand what he was saying through all of his panicked sobbing. All I heard was ‘emergency’ and 'in my bathtub’ and then there was more screaming and the line went dead. And I’m just assuming the worst at that point. Like I thought he was getting murdered or something. So I, um…. I… Uh…”

You waited patiently for him to continue.

“You…?” Hansol nodded deeply.

“I… Put on my shoes and left for Mingyu’s place. And as I was sprinting across town, I figured I should hijack a motorcycle and I ended up crashing it into a ditch before saving Mingyu from the Zodiac killer, the end, okay, let’s go finish that laundry.”

“Wow, I didn’t expect you to be such a bad liar,” Seungkwan said.

Jihoon’s head hit the table, “That was a bit far fetched, wasn’t it?”

“The most far fetched thing about it was you sprinting across town. You’ve never done anything more than a brisk power walk to the grand opening of that fifties themed soda shop that opened last year.”

“So what actually happened,” Wonwoo asked.

Jihoon took another deep breath, “Reminder that I will actually kill you if you laugh. Okay… So I… Grabbed my unicycle and went to Mingyu’s–”

“See, now that is far more plausible,” Seungkwan interrupted. “But continue.”

“I was on my way to Mingyu’s house when he called me again. And if I didn’t think he was dying, I would have stopped to answer my phone but I decided to answer while I was unicycling, which was a mistake. So I answer my phone and I’m like, 'ARE YOU OKAY ARE YOU ALIVE’ and Mingyu is. Just. Fine. He’s just… 'Oh, never mind. The spider has been released into my front yard and she delivered her babies safely. I saw the whole thing, it was miraculous. Life is truly beautiful, isn’t it? Okay, well, good night Jihoon, see you tomorrow.’ And I just. Internal screaming. Like my soul ascended to a different plain of existence where I scream endlessly.”

“So how did you get that cut?” Hansol pointed to Jihoon’s bandaid.

“Well, I was in such a state of shock that I didn’t notice the stop sign I was head straight towards at full unicycle speed. I tried to swerve and ended nicking my eyebrow against the edge of it. So yeah. My unicycle ended up sliding out from under me, too. It got ran over a by car. So I just left it on the street. And… Yeah. That’s it. The end.”

“And now we’re here!” You grinned, “All nice and patched up and now you have a rocketship cup and a belly full of mini pancakes to show for it.”

“Show for what?”

“Our blossoming friendship,” you reached across the table to grab his hand.

“Unicycling… spider-related… heroic attempt… gone wrong,” Seungkwan said as he typed the words into his phone, “hashtag… making… his way… downtown. Beautiful.”

You and Jihoon both rolled your eyes at him. The bell above the door rang, signaling the entrance of another customer.

“Uh oh, that’s Old Man Myeon,” Seungkwan said, “You guys should take off, I gotta get the banana bread ready for him.”

“I didn’t know Denny’s had banana bread,” Hansol said.

“We don’t, but Old Man Myeon flipped a table when we tried to explain that to him. So I’ve been making banana bread at home and bringing it in for him.”

“That’s actually kind of sweet, Seungkwan,” Wonwoo commented.

“I only do it because he tips me, like, fifty dollars whenever he visits.”

“Oh! I remember Old Man Myeon!” You exclaimed as a river of memories flooded your mind from when you were a child, “My mom used to have me deliver eggtarts to his house. He used to call me Eggtart Kid.”

“That’s great,” Jihoon said, “I’ll just call you Eggtart now, since I actually don’t remember what your name is.”

“You don’t know what my name is???” You stared at him in disbelief.

“Hehe,” Wonwoo giggled, “Eggtart is pretty cute actually.”

“Our… Beloved… Eggtart,” Seungkwan typed into his phone again, “hashtag… Never… Gonna… Give you… Up…”

“WHERE IS MY BANANA BREAD YOU DARN MILLENNIALS!” Old man Myeon’s voice bellowed throughout the whole restaurant.

“Well, it’s been real, guys,” Seungkwan said.

And with that, the four of you parted ways with Seungkwan and Denny’s and walked back to the laundromat to fold Soonyoung’s laundry.


	3. Chapter 3

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: Based on one of those Seventeen Click & Drag games tbh.

A/N: For all you lovely souls braving final exams this week and next week. I love you! Also, I did not proofread this at all lol

____________________________________

Chapter 3

The moonlight shone through Mingyu’s living room window, as your mind cast over the events of the past few hours. It was 3:47 am and you were lying on the floor underneath a Disney Princess themed blanket and sandwiched between Mingyu’s couch and Joshua, who was clinging onto an Attack On Titan body pillow. Being in this strange family of friends, you’d been in stranger positions but this time around was different as you were struggling to fall asleep.

Instead of uncomfortably shuffling around and waiting for sleep to overtake you, you decided to crawl out from under the blanket fort and go sit on Mingyu’s back porch, getting some more of that fresh night air.

How strange it was to think that just a little while ago you were patching up a bleeding Jihoon in a laundromat and now you were at a 7-person slumber party on the night before your last final exam. And somewhere in the middle, you had gone to Denny’s. You took a deep breath as your mind traveled back to the beginning of your post-Denny’s trip.

You, Hansol, Wonwoo, and Jihoon had squeezed into the back of an uber along with a basket full of Soonyoung’s laundry. When you arrived back at campus, you were surprised to see pretty much every tenant of your dorm building was standing outside on the sidewalk.

“What’s going on?” Hansol asked as you all filed out of the car and began walking towards the crowd. You scanned the scene for Joshua and you spotted him sitting on the curb in his Buzz Lightyear pajamas and holding an ant farm. He spotted you too.

“My ant farm!” Hansol cried and rushed forward and grabbed it from his roommate who stood up and folded his arms over his chest. “Joshua, you’re a hero!”

“Oh, I know,” Joshua tapped his Shrek-socked foot on the pavement and shot glances between you and Hansol. He always did this when he was miffed.

“What happened, why is everyone out here?” Jihoon asked.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what happened,” Joshua said menacingly. “My two best friends, Hansol and Eggtart went to Denny’s without me!”

“How did you even–?”

“I follow Seungkwan on Twitter,” Joshua stomped his foot, “I can’t believe this! And you didn’t answer any of my calls!”

You took out your phone and noticed that you had nine missed calls from Joshua Nicole Hong.

“Well that’s nice, but I was talking about all of this,” Jihoon gestured at the crowd.

“We’re in the middle of trying to figure that out,” a voice cut into the conversation, and you were being approached by your dorm advisors, Seungcheol and Jeonghan. “The fire alarm went off forty-five minutes ago and we’re still waiting on the fire department to get here.”

“In the meantime,” Seungcheol stood a little too close to you, which you wouldn’t have minded at all if he was, you know, wearing a shirt, “we have to stay outside. Also, hey Eggtart.”

“Hello,” you squeaked, peering up at him through your lashes.

“Anywaaaay,” Jeonghan wedged himself in between the two of you and you let out a breath of relief, “I don’t know what’s taking so long for the fire department to get here but I would suggest heading over to Mingyu’s house if you want to get any sleep tonight. I already called him.”

“Slumber party!” Hansol raised his ant farm in the air.

“Okay, let me just find Soonyoung first,” you said scanning the crown once more, “so I can return his clothes.”

“I think I know where he is, follow me,” Jeonghan said. You followed with Wonwoo carrying Soonyoung’s laundry basket in tow. You spotted him a little ways away and cringed ever so slightly at the sight of his best friend Jun, approaching you, arm extended to wrap around your shoulders.

“Heeeeeeeeeeyyy-” Jun started, arm hovering over your back.

“No.” Jeonghan glared.

“Okay.” Jun walking away, back to Soonyoung.

“Aaaaayyy!” Soonyoung cheered, grabbing the basket from Wonwoo, “Thanks, Eggtart.”

“Remind me to steal Seungkwan’s phone and delete his Twitter account,” you muttered to Wonwoo and he nodded.

“Mind if I ask where you guys are staying tonight?” Soonyoung said. “Most of us headed over to the other dorm. We’re rooming with Minghao and Seokmin.”

“Apparently we’re going to Mingyu’s place,” Wonwoo replied, “Which I guess is a good thing seeing as I have toothbrush and a drawer full of my stuff there.”

“Well, you guys have a good night,” Soonyoung said politely, “Thanks, again.”

“Any time,” you grinned. You had a few classes lined up with Soonyoung in the fall and you were really looking forward to spending some more time with him.

From that point on in the night, you kinda wished you had headed off to room with Soonyoung instead of going on the absolutely wild adventure and journey to Mingyu’s house. Now normally, you don’t mind all the craziness, in fact you were almost always for it.

But lines had to be drawn somewhere.

You drew the line at giving a Hansol a piggyback ride for half a mile. You drew the line at pushing Joshua around in a wheelbarrow while he stuffed his cheeks with cheese balls. You drew the line at Wonwoo trying to steal a whalequin (a whale mannequin) from the room of someone’s car. You drew the line at Jihoon just going along with all of it and when you asked for help with the children, saying ‘bruh, I clocked out ages ago, where you been.’ You drew the line at Momo, Jihyo, and Jungyeon threatening to shoot you in an alleyw–

Wait, wrong MV. Sorry.

If only you had clocked out ages ago like Jihoon.

Because when it came to Kim Mingyu.

There were no boundaries.

You didn’t even have to knock when you reached Mingyu’s front steps, the door swung wide open. But to your surprise it was not Mingyu on the other side of the doorway.

“Lee Chan?!” All five of you exclaimed.

“What are you doing here?” Hansol asked.

“Shadowing Mingyu,” he said, “for the Big Sibling program at school, remember? I’ve told you this a like a thousand times.”

From where you were standing you could see the totally Quirky and Unexpected Blanket Fort installed around the interior of the house. You could also see Chan’s dinosaur Crocs lined up next to the door.

“Really?” Hansol’s eyebrows raised. Jihoon spoke before the Denny’s chapter first encounter with Hansol could repeat itself.

“But you’re a senior in high school, Chan, you’re supposed to be mentoring middle schoolers,” Jihoon explained.

“Yeah but everyone thinks I’m in middle school anyway, some even think I’m still a baby,” Chan shrugged, “Do you know how many girls call themselves my mom?”

The last time you checked, 289 people liked the Chan’s Mom Mafia Facebook page. And you only knew this because you were the one who created the page, you piece of trash.

“Anyway,” Chan continued, “What’s better than learning the ways of life and adulthood from my favorite hyung, Mingyu?”

“Chan,” Jihoon placed a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder, “I’m not saying this because I currently want to bury Mingyu in the backyard, but because I truly… Kind of… Sincerely care about you. Taking life advice from Mingyu is like taking female artist management advice from YG Entertainment.”

“Oooooooohooohohoho,” Wonwoo jeered.

“Rest in peace, Minzy,” Hansol blew a kiss up into the sky.

“She’s not dead, Hansol,” Joshua sighed. “She’s just leaving the company and 2NE1 is continuing with three members.”

Hansol blew another kiss to the sky, “Continuing as three members, my left butt cheek but okay.”

“HEY!” A voice called from the top of the stairs behind Chan, “What’s the hold up?”

“Sorry!” Chan called back. He cleared his throat, “Now introducing His Royal Majesty, Emperor Kim Mingyu!” Chan whipped out his phone and tapped the screen a few times until Hello by Adele started playing.

“Hello,” Mingyu appeared at the top of the stairs, “It’s me…”

He mumbled and murmured through next few lyrics as he sauntered down the stairs, surprisingly dressed like a normal person. You had expected a crown or a cape or a black leather mask, but he was just in his pajamas.

Continuing to the tune of Hello, he belted out, “WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!” After which the music stopped abruptly. “Was that good or should we do it again?”

“It was great, hyung!” Chan chirped.

“Did you get a video of it?”

“No, my phone was playing the music.”

“Well now we have to do it over again!” Mingyu said running back up the stairs.

He did do it over again. Six times. Which approximated to 27 more minutes of standing on his door step as he repeatedly sauntered down the stairs, growing more and more passionate about the music with each re-shoot.

That’s when you decided to clock out for the night. The next couple of hours flew by in a blur that you could barely even make out in your own memory. There was a snippet of Joshua dancing to Lionheart in order to get the pizza guy to give them their pizza for free. There was a clip of Hansol trying to get Jihoon to sing a lullaby to his ant farm. Mingyu took Wonwoo on an updated expansive tour his mom’s garden. Chan’s laughter was the backdrop to most of the night which you didn’t mind at all, actually. You blocked out every single encounter you had with Mingyu for the sake of your own sanity.

You had received a video call from Seungcheol, updating you on the situation back at campus.

“The usual trash can fire on the third floor,” Seungcheol said, keeping his camera on focused on him as he crashed onto his bed with a cathartic grunt.

“Ah,” you said. You were sitting at Mingyu’s kitchen table with your chin resting against the crook of your elbow.

“Did you guys get to Mingyu’s okay?”

“Yeah,” you said just before yawning.

“Good,” he gave you a little smile, “I didn’t think you’d still be up, actually.”

“Me neither.”

There was a moment of silence (aside from Hansol chasing Chan with a bottle of ketchup) between the two of you in which you just kinda stared at each other with sleepy eyes. He ruffled a hand through his hair.

“You should get some sleep,” he murmured, turning onto his side.

“So should you,” you replied.

“Then, good night.”

“Good night.”

Another moment hung between you two and a brilliant smile broke out onto Seungcheol’s face.

“Good night, Eggtart,” he grinned.

“Good night, Seungcheol,” you grinned back.

He let out a laugh when neither of you hung up again.

“Seriously,” he said with a smile still plastered to his face, “good night, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay… Good… Night,” you drew it out before finally hanging up and resting your head in your arms. There was a part of you that wanted to fling your phone away from yourself and curl up into a ball and squeal, but you were a bit too tired out.

And then there you were, still tired out an hour later, still sitting in a lounger on Mingyu’s back porch thinking about what a night you were having. Was there any symbolic meaning behind it? Not really. Would you look back on this night as one of the greatest testaments of your youth? Probably not. But it’ll be a great story to look back on one day.

“Eggtart?” The sliding door opened and out came a sleepy Hansol.

“Hey, go back to sleep,” you whispered, “I’ll be there in a sec.”

“No, I wanted to talk to you,” he said and plopped himself onto your lap.

“About what?”

“About…” He paused, “About what Wonwoo said earlier. At Denny’s. I’ve actually thought a lot about switching my major to music.”

“Oh,” was all you could say.

“Yeah,” he continued, “I’m… Well, I’m scared. What if I’m busting my left butt cheek for something I don’t want? And this exam I have tomorrow. I’ve never slaved over a grade so much in my life and I’m not even sure if I’m going to pass. Before tonight, I had spent the last three weeks not talking to anyone, not going out, nothing. Just studying, non-stop, and when I’m not studying I’m just thinking about all of these things… And when I’d go back and do those practice quizzes and stuff, I’d barely improve. I don’t know what am I doing, Eggtart, and I’m scared.”

You were momentarily at a loss for words. You had honestly never seen one of your friends become so vulnerable the way Hansol did right then.

“Hansol, I’m going to let you in on a little secret,” you rubbed his shoulder gently, “I’m honestly not stressed about my exam tomorrow at all, even though it’s the most difficult class I’ve ever had ever.”

“Wow, way to rub it in–”

“Let me finish,” you shushed him, “I’m not stressed about the exam and the reason why is because I know everything is going to be okay. Do I have any tangible evidence of that? Some sort of Okay Algorithm or HTML I can key into the universe’s code? No, I do not. I have no reason to not be flipping the fudge out about my exam at all (except that I may have transcended the universe’s maximum anxiety capacity into a limbo of calm rage). But I have you. Not to sound like an immense corndog, but I have you. And that makes it okay. I have Joshua, and that makes it okay. You’ve been dealing with this crap by yourself and I should have talked to you sooner. I’m sorry. But starting right now, you have me, and everything is going to be okay.”

Hansol said nothing. He just nestled his head in the crook of your neck.

“Just do your best on the exam tomorrow,” you said quietly, “and everything will work out okay.”

He nodded.

“And as for the crisis about your major- the performing arts camp that Joshua, Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and I work it are still looking for counselors. It’s all music twenty-four-seven and I think you’d really like it. But if you don’t, then engineering will be waiting for you in the fall.”

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“Any time,” you said. “Now go back to sleep.”

Hansol shuffled back into the house and not a moment later, Chan came out and took his spot on your lap.

“What do you want, Chan?” You asked as he snuggled up to you.

“My own therapy session with Doctor Eggtart.”

Here we go. “What’s been on your mind?”

“Well,” he began thoughtfully. “As much as I enjoy girls doting on me all the time, I figured I should start growing up a little.”

Your maternal heart had a single crack in it.

“It’s time for Chan to be a big boy,” he said, “so what would your advice be to go about doing that?”

“You could start by taking ‘big boy’ out of your vocabulary,” you raised an eyebrow.

“Done,” he nodded.

“And I guess the ultimate advice that never goes wrong when pursuing any goal is to just have fun and be yourself.”

“Amazing,” his eyes widened and he jumped up from the seat, “that’s the greatest and most novel thing anyone’s ever said to me. I’m gotta write that down in my journal!”

And with that, Baby Chan zipped back into the house. You could barely get a breath out before Jihoon slid out onto the porch next. Evidently, the vein in your forehead burst loud enough to warrant the following greeting from Jihoon.

“Don’t worry Doc, I’m not here for a session,” and thankfully, instead of sitting in your lap he sat in the lounger next to you and handed you a glass of milk.

“Thanks,” you said, taking a gulp. “Shouldn’t you be getting some rest too?”

“I only sleep once a month, during the full moon.”

Sounded about right.

“So,” he said after sipping his own glass of milk, “you looking forward to that D and D tournament with Mingyu?”

“What?”

“D and D. Dungeons and Dragons.”

“No, I know what it is, why am I going to a tournament with Mingyu!?”

“Because he asked you and you said yes.”

“When?!”

“Like two hours ago.”

“Why didn’t you stop me!?”

“I wasn’t aware we were on that level of friendship…?”

“I cleaned and bandaged your wound, took you to Denny’s, got us matching rocketship cups with swirly straws, and let you call me Eggtart!”

“…sorry?” He shrugged.

“Ugh,” you slapped a hand over your face before turning to him and glaring, “You better get me out of this or else.”

“Sure,” he shrugged again.

“…” You’re glare dissolved, “That… Was easier than I thought.”

“I’m not one for over-complicating things.”

For some reason, an immense weight lifted off of your shoulders. It wasn’t that you couldn’t get yourself out of a Dungeons and Dragons tournament with Mingyu on your own. Jihoon just… Agreed. So easily. No reservations. No complaining. No elaborate Star Trek analogy about the true meaning of friendship. Just a straight up 'sure, I will do that for you.’

Granted, you weren’t the perfect friend but you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel as though sometimes you did more for your friends than they did for you. Not to say that they take advantage of you, because they always show their mutual support in one way or another but with Jihoon, it felt like there was someone who was just on the same page.

“Thanks,” you said sheepishly.

“Of course.”

“Soooo what’s your plan? For getting me out of the tournament, I mean.”

“Just don’t go.”

“Genius. But what about Mingyu? Someone’s gotta go with him, right?”

He didn’t say anything.

“Jihoon?”

“What?”

“Are you gonna find someone to replace me or…?”

“Something like that,” he bobbed his head. It clicked immediately.

“You,” you couldn’t contain your laughter, “Are you saying that YOU are going to the tournament with him?”

Your laughter made his eye twitch. “Keep laughing, nitwit, I’m doing this for you, not because I’ve been playing D and D with Mingyu for a nearly a decade so why he’d ask you of all people is beyond me and not because I already have an outfit picked out and if you find that so funny, you can shove a duck up y–”

“It’s not that I find it funny, Jihoon,” you explain, “I just find YOU funny, behind your facade of indifference. It’s really endearing, and I mean that in a positive way.”

“Oh.”

“Congrats, we’ve leveled up in friendship.”

You grinned at Jihoon and although he avoided your eyes, he smiled back.

__________________________

And this concludes the first arc of the Denny’s AU.


	4. Chapter 4

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: This chapter is a mess

A/N: I think we all have a bit of Flannary Doogowitz in us.

____________________________________

Chapter 4

Joshua waited outside the lecture hall for you to finish your exam, which was, as expected, not terrible for the most part. At least it was over, and now you were free to just die or whatever. You spotted Joshua leaning against the bike rack with earbuds in, bopping his head to what you assumed was probably BO$$ by Fifth Harmony.

“-swipe my card, then I do the nae nae–”

“Hey, Josh,” you said.

He took out one earbud, “Sorry, what? Oh, hey! Hello!” He pulled you into a big hug, “You’re alive! You made it! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” He picked you up and swung you around a few times.

“TO DENNY’S!” You cried.

“I suppose I can try to reform my Denny’s trust in you,” Joshua said, “for the kid, of course.”

“The kid?” You raised and eyebrow.

“I adopted Chan last night, he thinks we’re his parents,” Josh explained nonchalantly. “Look, I have his birth certificate and everything.”

“Oh… Kay,” you stopped Josh from rummaging through his backpack for said documents, “we will mail that back to his actual parents before we head back to camp.”

“Speaking of which, Seungcheol’s heading there right now to help with the preliminary set up.”

“He’s gonna be exhausted from all of the driving,” you say thoughtfully. “Let’s get him a takeout box, okay?”

Joshua nodded with a smile and the two of you took a crowded bus down to Denny’s. Not crowded with people, of course, this story is too much of a mistake for it to be crowded with people. It was crowded with Old Man Myeon’s eleven Samoyeds. Well, eight Samoyeds. He placed photos of the other three in the back row and barked at you when you tried to move them to sit down. So you and Joshua stood instead.

“Well, that,” Joshua said as the two of you filed out of the bus and a myriad of Samoyeds flooded out around you as well, “was a bit strange.”

“Aaaaand a steady amount of strangeness continues,” you pointed at the Minghao that was standing outside the restaurant. The bluenette had his forehead and hands pressed against the Denny’s glass window, peering inside with a frown plastered to his face.

“Minghao…” Joshua approached him gently, “Are you okay?”

Minghao unstuck himself from the glass, “I’ve been banned.”

You and Josh gasped in horror of the unknown. Josh let out a soft ‘no.’

Minghao gestured to the piece of paper stuck to the entrance of the restaurant. All there was was a picture of him from when he was, like, twelve, flipping the bird and text that read 'don’t let him in.’

“They can’t just ban you, isn’t that illegal?” You ripped the paper from the door. “We have to do something.”

“I know just the thing,” Joshua said with a determined expression, “Come with me, Minghao. To the costume store!”

“Or we could just get Seungkwan to talk to the manager sometime?” You suggested.

“Yeah, that’s not as fun,” Minghao shrugged. “Costume store?”

Joshua and Minghao literally skipped down the street arm in arm. You blinked a few times before entering the restaurant. You figured they’d be back in a few minutes due to the cartoon-esque lapse of time you were pushing the plot towards.

“Hey Eggtart, don’t ask, working a double shift, sit wherever, I’ll be write with you,” an exhausted looking Seungkwan shoved a menu at you and you walked around awkwardly looking for a table.

An arm shot out from one of the booths and abruptly pulled you in, a yelp barely escaping your mouth.

“What th–”

“Shh,” Wonwoo shushed you, grabbing your menu and opening it up in front of the both of you. “We’re spying.”

“What?”

“Look,” Wonwoo pointed over the top of the menu at the corner booth a few tables down. “They’re on a date.”

“Who?”

“Look!” Wonwoo lowered the menu more so you could see better.

“Mingyu…” You said, seeing him throw his head back in laughter.

“And…”

You felt dumb, thinking there was actually a situation in which you didn’t notice that vibrant pink hair. “Flannary Doogowitz.”

Wonwoo had gripped the menu so hard, it crinkled in his grasp.

“…Are you okay, Wonwoo?”

“Oh, I’m just peachy,” he seethed, “My best friend since birth is on a date with my worst enemy. And don’t tell me to give her a chance because I care about Mingyu, she’s had enough chances, so just don’t, okay?”

“I wasn’t going to,” you raised your hands in defense, “It’s just that you called him your best friend and I wanted to ask if you were sure you want this to be a heteronormative narrative.”

“I don’t have romantic feelings for Mingyu, Eggtart,” he deadpanned.

“I didn’t say you did,” you assured him, “… But didn’t you say yes when he asked you to prom?”

“Eggtart!” He whisper shouted.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” You shoved his shoulder playfully, “But why do you hate Flannary Doogowitz so much? Like, to the point where she’s worth your time to eavesdrop on her date with Mingyu?”

“Where do I even start?” Wonwoo sighed, slouching back in his seat, evidently weighed down by whatever baggage this was all causing him. On the other hand, you were also wondering where Seungkwan was.

“Just let it all out, Jeon,” you patted his shoulder.

He took a deep breath, preparing to babble at a hundred miles an hour.

“Okay, well first of all,” Seungkwan butted into the conversation just in time, sitting down in front of you. “You’re not allowed to have roast sessions without me.”

You and Wonwoo looked into the camera like you were on the office.

“She sent Jimin from After School Club hate,” Wonwoo started. “During a live broadcast with EXO.”

“She reblogs smut about minors onto her fic blog,” Seungkwan said. “Like, about kids Chan’s age.”

“That is disgusting,” you muttered, starting to feel sick to your stomach. You were reluctant to admit had expected some petty grudge from Wonwoo, not some actual legitimate claims against Flannary.

“She’s everything wrong with fan culture,” Seungkwan sighed, “And yet, her demeanor is very sweet so I have to subtweet her but she’s such an airhead it wouldn’t even matter if I @ed her.”

“I got seated next to her at an EXO concert a couple months ago and the things she yelled at Chanyeol, those mental images… I had to see two therapists about it, Eggs. And a priest.”

“Not to mention that she’s completely self-obsessed. Every conversation has to be her or her bias… Like, what about me?” Seungkwan pressed a hand to his heart, “What about me and Wonho? We’re a much more interesting conversation topic.”

“This is going to sound so petty,” Wonwoo sighed, “but she’s one of those people that, if you have the same bias as her, she’ll try to make you bias someone else. Like, I have been very vocal about my affection for JB, I even run a blog about just JB. That she follows. And she keeps sending me Jr posts.”

Your mind was still racing with Seungkwan and Wonwoo’s previous statements. From your protectiveness over young ones like Chan to your adamant disdain with cyberbullying, there was now a single outstanding notion that flashed across the screen of your mind in red flashing letters.

“Someone go get Mingyu,” your hand fell flat on the table with a smack. Sure Mingyu drove you up the wall more times than not, but he was still your friend and you would not let him be around such an influence.

“That’s where you come in,” Wonwoo pointed out, “I was thinking you should go over there and derail him. It’ll be easy, he loves you.”

“Um, no thank you,” you shrugged, “Not to be cold blooded, but Seungkwan could just accidentally pour water on her and we could snatch Mingyu while she’s in the bathroom.”

“I’ve spilled water on two customers this shift already,” Seungkwan said drowsily, “One more and I could get fired.”

“Come on, Eggtart,” Wonwoo pleaded.

“Why me?” You asked, “He loves you too, no homo, why don’t you do it?”

“Because you’re a girl and fundamentally better at things.”

“While that’s very flattering, Wonwoo, when did I ever say that I’m a girl?”

“Oh,” Wonwoo’s eyebrows raised and his ears went red with embarrassment, “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, it’s just–”

“It’s okay,” you assured, “I just don’t think about it much, you know? My gender and all. Not really part of my identity at all, I guess. She and her are fine, pronoun-wise, but I’m cool with they and them, too.”

“Good to know,” he smiled at you, tilting his head in an equal parts curious and awe-inspired way.

“Look alive, kids,” Seungkwan’s voice trailed off along with Seungkwan himself as he went back to waiting on tables. His presence was replaced by none other than Mister Kim Mingyu and the always pretty and pink Flannary Doogowitz.

“I thought I saw you guys out of the corner of my eye!” Mingyu exclaimed, inviting himself and Flannary to take a seat. “What’s goin’ on?”

You glanced at Wonwoo, silently asking him what you were supposed to do now. His eyes said 'follow my lead’ but your gut was telling you otherwise. The anime was strong in this one, and you were anticipating a fake-dating-to-make-the-other-person-jealous plan to ensue.

“Not much,” Wonwoo said casually, “just hanging out.”

“You two seem to be hanging out a lot these days,” Mingyu replied, resting his elbows on the table and glancing between you and his best friend.

“So far, we’ve sat next to each other in this booth twice in the past eighteen hours, so I guess you could say that,” Wonwoo shrugged.

It was as though you could foresee everything that was about to happen. Mingyu was going to reply and then Wonwoo would say something back, maybe put his arm around you to make even more cheesy, and then things would get tense and awkward and the Seungkwan would finally show up offering comic relief and some drinks, hopefully. Eventually Josh and Minghao would show up dressed like characters from Teen Wolf and you totally weren’t pulling this whole chapter outta your butt because you feel more obligated than inspired to write it after spending a week in Utah and coming back to a busy work week that ended in stress crying and wanting to die.

What you didn’t expect was for Flannary to become a present and vocal character in the narrative at all. However, you knew that whatever she was going to say to you wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test.

“Oh,” Flannary said, flipping her EXID inspired Hot Pink hair over her shoulder, “I didn’t know you and Wonwoo were a thing.”

How were you even supposed to reply to that, you wondered. And you didn’t have to reply after all, since Seungkwan’s claims about her supposed self-obsession were true.

“Well, I mean,” Flannary continued, “I guess I’ll let you have him, even though I love him. Joshua’s my number one, anyway.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Wonwoo muttered under his breath. Mingyu just looked confused.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Flannary tilted her head at Wonwoo.

“You do realize Eggs and Josh have been an inseparable pair since before the universe even existed, right? That they went to every school dance together, live at each other’s houses during the summer, and have movie marathons alone together every weekend??? They even adopted a kid together last night???”

You, Flannary, and Mingyu were just a trio of blank stares.

“And somehow, you three, plus Josh, are the only ones who don’t see the obvious pairing there???”

“It’s true, they’re meant to be!” Seungkwan called from another table.

“But,” Flannary’s nondescript face continued to stay blank even as she turned to face you, “Don’t you prefer Wonwoo?”

Wonwoo groaned, hitting his head against the table.

“Come on, man,” Mingyu patted Wonwoo on the shoulder, “Not every long term relationship between a guy and a non-binary non-male person has to be romantic.”

Wonwoo rubbed his temples, muttering the words 'unbelievable’ and 'put this fork in my neck why not.’

“Agreed,” you finally spoke. “Just to clarify, I’m not a thing with Wonwoo or Joshua but they’re my friends and I like them very much.”

“Aw, I like you very much too,” Joshua popped out nowhere with Minghao at his side, unmistakably dressed as Eren and Armin from Attack on Titan, but in their casual wear.

“HOW DO YOU GUYS NOT SEE IT!?” Wonwoo exclaimed, waving his arms and gesturing at the two of you.

“Joshua!” Flannary chirped, “You look so cute! You’re the guy from Naruto, right? What was his name… Goku?”

“I just threw up in my mouth a little,” Joshua said. He had one hand pressed to his mouth and the other clutching his stomach.

“Seungkwan!” You called, “This is the part where you say something sassy to further the plot because I suck at writing!”

“No, this is the part where I kick you all out for the day so you can further your own darn plots,” Seungkwan sassed, “Out! All of ya! Here’s Seungcheol’s take-out box, now go!”

“How did you know we were gonna get a take-out b–”

“I am one with backstreet-boo, I know all,” Seungkwan spoke in what sounded like two voices speaking at the same time. His image and form began to glitch between his normal self and the image of a bespectacled, five-foot tall, Filipino kid sitting on the floor of her bedroom at 10:31 PM EST trying to finish this pointless chapter.

“Seungcheol, huh?” Flannary said to you, “Don’t you preference Mingyu, though?”

“Listen, Flan,” you said, getting up from your seat to leave, “I don’t really know if this a game for you, but my GOT7 bias is JB.”

Flannary reacted as though you had just shot her in the stomach.

“I think he’s really cool and funny and I relate on a spiritual level to that video compilation of him screaming in rage,” you continued, “and the extent to which you love him doesn’t make me love him any less. We’re not competing for him. He doesn’t know either of us exist and chances are neither of us will marry him so… Chill, I guess. We gotta stick together, as non-males. And stop reblogging smut about minors, that’s just gross.”

Flannary didn’t reply. She just looked… Sad.

“Look, you’re an intelligent young lady with many qualities that make you an interesting and unique person,” you guessed, you were too tired to think of what those qualities may be, specifically, but you went on, “You’re not some dumb, two-dimensional crazed fangirl that society makes you out to be. You’re an individual with interests and hobbies that shouldn’t be seen as silly just because they’re uncommon. But for real, reading smut about minors should not be on that list of interests and hobbies, okay.”

“Boom. Bechdel test passed,” Seungkwan said.

_____________________

Instead of going to Joshua’s Marvel Marathon that night (which he invited Minghao, Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Flannary to) at his house, you decided to take a walk instead. There was a lot on your mind for some reason. Maybe it had to do with your very short time at Denny’s earlier that day, that actually felt like a week of an excruciating lack of motivation paired with writer’s block.

The sun was setting and your foot steps took you back to that little laundromat from the night before. Just looking at it and remembering all the things that started there made you tired and kind of happy.

You wondered what Jihoon was up to at that moment. Perhaps he was getting some rest or training for his Dungeons and Dragons tournament. You thought about Hansol too and you kind of missed him. Your mind was so full of strange and vivid memories from the night before that you walked into the laundromat without thinking and had failed to notice the scene before you.

There wasn’t really any other way to put it. Soonyoung and Seokmin were waltzing to the music playing in the laundromat, which you also hadn’t noticed before, or at least you couldn’t remember. It wasn’t until Soonyoung was mid-twirl that the two of them noticed you as well.

“Oh, hey,” Soonyoung said, letting go of Seokmin’s hand. “Seokmin’s going to a wedding tomorrow, so we’re just practicing.”

“…In a laundromat?”

“I’m getting my suit dry cleaned,” Seokmin explained. When your eyes met his, he hit you with one of his big, breath-taking smiles. “What are you doing here?”

Of course, you didn’t have an answer. “I dunno… I thought it would be a good idea to stop here but now I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, you don’t have to do anything, really,” Soonyoung said, “You can stop here.”

“But then it all feels anticlimactic and incomplete,” you pondered.

Soonyoung sat you down on one of the benches, the one you patched Jihoon up on, to be specific. He spoke, “It’s been a long week.”

“Sure has.”

“And it’s probably going to be an even longer week coming up.”

“You know it.”

“And you’re tired,” he gently smoothed down your hair.

“I am.”

“So let’s stop here.”

________________________________

A/N: So a few things! 1) I was in Utah for a week so I apologize for the late update! And work has been killing my soul with dullest of blades, so I also apologize for this kind of sad attempt of a chapter. 2) non-binary/agender protagonist is canon! Wow! So genius! 3) I’m gonna go to sleep now.


	5. Chapter 5

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: Too many traumatic summer camp memories flooding in

A/N: ngl, i did listen to the camp rock soundtrack while writing this.

____________________________________

Chapter 5

After your minor mental breakdown in a laundromat with Soonyoung and Seokmin and after you returned Chan’s birth certificate to his parents, you arrived at Camp Mounteen safe and sound and began a four week adventure in the wilderness with no WiFi, no air conditioning, and no Denny’s for miles. You were surprised to see pretty much all of the named characters in this story also serving as camp counselors alongside you. Except Flannery because she had a four week long dentist appointment.

Day fourteen rolled around and you rolled out of your shared tent with Seungcheol at the crack of dawn. You had reasoned that the earlier you got up to prepare for the day, the smoother it would go. It had nothing to do with Seungcheol going from boy next door to boy in your tent and silently screaming all night every night.

You grabbed some breakfast from the mess hall before heading over to your campers’ cabin to wake them tf up. Show them fourteen year olds who’s boss. Especially the ones that were taller than you. You checked the bulletin board to see which groups you would be hiking with today.

1\. Mingyu’s Melody Makers  
2\. Junhui’s Jovial Jams  
3\. Seungkwan’s Sinister Songsters  
4\. Eggtart’s Ethereal Euphoniums

You nearly choked on a piece of granola, but were saved by the slight reassurance that Seungkwan would perhaps keep you sane. Perhaps. He was a shifty one.

A three mile hike… You could survive a three mile hike with Mingyu… And Jun… And Seungkwan… Hopefully…


	6. Chapter 6

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: Wasn’t worth the wait probably

A/N: sorry for the 2 month long hiatus, y'all.

Recap: Coups, Eggs, and Seungkwan set up a Denny’s drug deal which actually wasn’t a drug deal but a plan to sneak Denny’s into camp.  
_____________________________________

Chapter 6

So this was the plan, as Seungcheol explained it to you. Seungkwan was going to take off on a road trip back to town as soon as possible (i.e. after his Songster showed him that trombone piece, which turned out to be an arrangement of the old archaic One Thing by One Direction), pop by Denny’s to pick up The Camp Feast of a Lifetime, drive back, and we’d all sneak out to eat Denny’s in Winter Quarters after lights out.

“So where do I fit in to this?” You asked Seungcheol as you both were leaving the craft barn. His hand grazed against yours and you were nervous he was going to hold it again. But he held his phone in his other hand and when you peaked over at his screen, you saw that he was playing Pokemon GO.

“Well, we’ll need someone to go with Seungkwan to keep him from eating all the food on the way back,” he said and then abruptly turning left, “Metapod.”

“But I have book club with Wonwoo tonight,” you said, “If you drag the pokeball in circles before throwing it, you get curveball points. Anyway, I can get Josh to go with Seungkwan instead, he’s pretty trustworthy.”

“Are you sure?” He said while naming his Metapod ‘Metacheol.’ He put his phone back into his pocket and scratched the back of his head. “You’re really chummy with Wonwoo. I mean you spend a lot of time with him. I mean, I’m cool with it, of course. I mean, it’s not like we’re dating. Me and you, I mean, not me and Wonwoo. And I mean, if we were, me and you I mean, I’d still be cool with it because you’re an individual with an independent thought process and in no way my property and I think that’s really cool, I mean you’re really c–”

“You’re rambling.”

“Sorry.”

And the first awkward silence you had ever had with Seungcheol took place. You were kind of astonished, you had never seen him get like that before. But it was also kind of… invigorating. The ever confident and charming Seungcheol getting all flustered. You could slam dunk a baby dressed like the Pope with that kind of power.

Then there was the matter of your actual feelings towards him, and this ain’t no light drama romance fic. But let’s indulge in the idea that it could for a sec- Did you like Seungcheol or did you like that he evidently liked you? Or did you just like the idea of him? Or were you so emotionally constipated that you had no idea what it was like to actually like someone? Were you so busy coming to terms with your gender identity that now you were meant to face the idea of mutual attraction head on?

Issues that probably won’t ever get addressed because like, mate, you’re genuinely just here for a laugh ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Anyway, what are you reading in book club?” Seungcheol asked as the both you kept walking back to the mess hall.

“We’ve been powering through Harry Potter again since the new book just came out!”

“Very nice,” he grinned, “I’m in Gryffindor.”

“I figured,” you smiled back with a shrug, “Slytherin, here.”

“No way,” he laughed, “You are not a Slytherin.”

“My Ilvermorny house is Pukwudgie,” you beamed.

“See, that makes more sense,” Seungcheol nodded, “Maybe Pottermore finally got its algorithm fixed, it’s about ti–”

“EXPELLIMARMIUS!” MINGYU JUMPED OUT FROM BEHIND A TREE ANd why am I still typing in all caps.

Seungcheol jumped about four feet in the air and you caught in him your arms, bridal style. You were both screaming but Seungcheol was screaming because Mingyu frightened him and you were screaming because you couldn’t believe you caught Seungcheol and now both of you were screaming at Mingyu.

“MINGYU WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING!?”

“IT’S *EXPELLIARMUS AND THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS MINGYU.”

“Oh, whatever,” Mingyu said, “I was looking for you guys. What are you guys even doing, Wingardium LeviOHsa-ing out here in the woods?”

“Mingyu,” Seungcheol climbed down from your grasp, “Please tell me you’re joking and that you’ve read Harry Potter. It is really important to me that you’ve read Harry Potter.”

“Read what now?”

Seungcheol groaned in exasperation, a single tear falling from his eye.

“Is Joshua still in the mess hall?” You asked Mingyu.

“Nah, he went back to his tent to change for his after-lunch Pokemon hunt.”

“Cool, thanks. I’ll see you guys later.” You skipped off towards Counselors’ Village leaving the two of them behind, Seungcheol’s magic-related rants growing quieter with distance.

You bumped right into Joshua just as he was making his way back to the trail. He was clad in his own custom-made Pokemon Trainer cosplay (he went for the black-yellow getup with purple accents).

“Hello there, my Hard Boiled Buddy!” Joshua greeted you.

“Try again.”

“Sunny Side Up Buddy?”

“Ooh, that’s cute, let’s go with that,” You chirped, “Anyway, would you do me a huge favor and go on a little road trip with Seu–”

“Yes.”

“…ngkwan. You didn’t even let me finish.”

“First of all,” Joshua said, “I would do any favor for you. I would even write Jelena fluff for you if you asked, which is saying a lot because I actually don’t care about Jelena so much that I’ve transcended not caring into not caring about not caring about Jelena.”

“Yo, that’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever said to me.”

You and Joshua both lifted a up a fist, gesturing to your Best Friends Forever bracelets that you guys made at your first year at Camp Mounteen.

“Second of all,” Joshua continued, “A road trip implies that I will be leaving this camp and I am tired of catching Pidgeys, Rattatas, and Weedles.”

“Seungcheol caught a Metapod!”

“Of course he did. That man’s charm supersedes this realm into the augmented reality of Pokemon Go.”

“It was outside of the craft barn, which is convenient because that’s where you’re meeting Seungkwan. Are you sure you don’t want me to explain the rest?”

“Seungcheol already told me. I gave him my five dollar chip-in for the meal.”

“Oh. Alright then.”

“Now I must go,” Joshua said, looking longingly into the distance before moving past you onto the trail and you turn to watch him as though he were marching off to battle.

“Be safe, love you!” You called.

“Love you too, see you tonight!”

You sighed contentedly, watching Joshua literally gallop away. You turned around, heading back towards the village when you ran smack dab (ayyy) right into Soonyoung.

“Oops, sorry,” you dabbed.

“No worries,” Soonyoung dabbed back, “Hey, are you busy right now?”

“Not until dinner,” you replied.

“Apparently two campers fell out of a pedal boat (pretty sure it was a couple of Hansol’s Harping Harmonizers) and they left the boat out in the middle of the lake. Would you mind coming to get it with me? I’m always down for some company.”

“Sure!”

The two of you had a nice a walk to the lake. It started out with the some small talk of the 'how are you, good, you’ nature and it was kind of awkward at first. You didn’t know Soonyoung very well but you had always admired him from a distance. Captain of the school’s dance team, organizer of Finals Week Puppy Day, person with impeccable social skills, and a genuinely unironic nice guy. He was basically everything you wanted to be but better. However, a few minutes into the conversation, Soonyoung had you in a fit of hysterical tears.

“So Minghao climbs up onto the top of the bookcase with the syringe in his hand and I’m like, 'Minghao, you’ve had three flu shots already, those are supposed to be for the kindergarteners!’ And this kid. He looks me dead in the eye. You know the way his eyes do that menacing stare thing, right? He looks at me, and he whispers, 'I’ll be a living god’ and then he gave himself a fourth flu shot.”

“What happened next?” You said wiping away the tears in the corners of your eyes from laughing too much.

“I don’t know! One moment he’s grabbing a hardcover medical dictionary from the top shelf of the bookcase and raising it over his head. Then everything goes black and I wake up in a hospital bed next to him. Staring at me.” Soonyoung shivered at the memory.

“Oh no, that’s terrible,” you said, but you laughter kept spilling out. The two of you had reached the lake he was checking to see if the straps of your life vest were adjusted properly.

“Yeah, but he apologized and I can’t help but love the kid,” Soonyoung said while dragging a kayak out to the edge of the lake. “And nothing that weird has happened since, although I did borrow his phone once and I saw that he had the X Files theme playing on repeat.”

You situated yourself into the rear seat of the kayak and started paddling out to the lone pedal boat. It had drifted pretty far out there but it didn’t take long to get to it.

When the two of you reached it, Soonyoung quickly tethered the kayak to the pedal boat and carefully removed himself from his seat and climbed into the boat and then held out his oar for you to grab onto so you could climb in as well. It would be easier to ride the boat back than to carry the weight of it with the kayak.

Once you were safely in the boat, Soonyoung placed the oars in the back and sat down with his feet resting against the pedals and he sighed.

“Quick break,” he said and then reached into his pocket and took out a bag of Skittles. He opened it and offered some to you and they were all warm and melted from the blazing summer heat.

“Thanks,” you grinned, taking a palmful.

Soonyoung closed his eyes took another deep breath, as though soaking in all the vitamin D and fresh lake atmosphere he could. “So,” he chewed on a Skittle, “I saw you and Seungcheol holding hands earlier. You two a thing now?”

“What? No. Not really. Just… Two buddies holding hands,” you shrugged. It sounded weird but then you remembered that you and Joshua held hands all through out elementary school until you got tired of each other’s sweaty hands.

“Hmmmm,” Soonyoung observed our face closely, “Are you sure because I seem to recall that you and Seungcheol also share a tent…”

“I’m pretty sure I would know if I had a significant other.”

“Then, whew, that’s a relief,” he sank back into his seat, “because after Jihoon told me the story of that whole midnight Denny’s fiasco, I got to thinking you two would make quite a pair.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “You mean a pair of shoes, right? Because Jihoon is taking a cobblery class at night school and I have super cobbler powers that I haven’t unlocked yet because Jihoon has yet to be certified in becoming my cobbler sensei, right?”

“No, I mean a romantic pair.”

“Curses,” you muttered, “I was hoping to fix my hiking boots.”

“Ask Jihoon. I’m sure he’d loooooove to teach you even if he isn’t qualified to be your cobbler sensei,” Soonyoung teased.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, avoiding his gaze and looking out onto the water, “Jihoon and I are friends.”

“I know that,” he grinned, “I was just Joshing ya. In fact, Jihoon is the only person in our mutual friend group that I’m 100 percent certain doesn’t have a crush on you.”

“Thank goodness… Wait, what?”

“Yup. Your totally nondescript appearance and generally likable personality is the perfect blank canvas for the guys to project their affections on. Chan and Hansol have little Senpai crushes on you probably, Mingyu and Junhui claim to have fallen in love with you at first sight, and that night with Seokmin at the laundromat when he got his suit dry cleaned? He was gonna ask you to go to his cousin’s wedding and all of his moments with you which aren’t in the story are in the deleted scenes. Seungcheol, that one’s obvious. Jeonghan and Minghao stare at you curiously from a distance, but… You know Minghao… Who knows what’s in that mind of his… Wonwoo thinks you’re adorable and interesting and Seungkwan WOULD like you if getting Ariana Grande to follow him on Twitter wasn’t his top priority in life. And Joshua? He’s just a fixed point in your universe.”

You were staring so blankly at the water you barely noticed when Soonyoung stopped talking. You had forgotten you were the Mary Sue protagonist of this anime. You had thought for a time that perhaps you had some dimension beyond the point of a band of very attractive young men vying for your affection, that maybe you could carry the story on your own without all of these other male characters popping up and causing conflicts and situations that you wouldn’t otherwise waste your time worrying about because there is more to life than the guy you end up with.

Yo, that got deep… Let’s pick it back up then…

“But then there’s Jihoon,” Soonyoung went on, “He’s got places to go, things to do, people to see. And if one of those people is you, he’s totally chill about it. 'Yeah, just gonna meet Eggs and Wonwoo at the library, nbd.’ But I have this super cute image in my head of you two finally realizing your inner fondness for each other and everything falls into place. So romantic, ugh.”

You groaned dramatically. “Alright then,” you counted the remaining Skittles in your hand, “One vote for Jihoon, one vote for Joshua, one anti-vote for Wonwoo which I guess counts as a vote for Seungcheol… Anyone else have a say in who I should be with!?” Your voice echoed off of your empty surroundings. You shoved the Skittles into your mouth.

“I do!” Soonyoung raised his hand, “If you’ll allow me to have another say.”

“Sure why not,” you said, defeated.

“Your love life isn’t a democracy. I think you should be with who YOU like.”

Yeah, but that was complicated. You didn’t know if you liked all of them or didn’t have feelings for any of them. Your mind tried to think of it logically, like which boy would be the best for you in terms of you find interesting and likable in a person but you didn’t even know that.

“What about you?” You asked Soonyoung without thinking. “You’re a part of our mutual friend group too, I don’t suppose you have a confession prepared for me as well?”

You were met with silence.

“Honestly,” Soonyoung finally spoke, “Just now I was thinking of changing the subject to getting this boat back to the shore. Which, yes, we should probably do. Start pedaling. But then I thought that would just be me evading the question. Which I am totally doing right now. And now I’m thinking that I’ve honestly never thought about how I feel about you and I’m wondering if Jihoon hasn’t as well. Maybe we’re all fated to like you as characters in your narrative.”

He paused and for a moment, the sound of pedaling was the only thing that filled your ears.

“I won’t think about it, though. We see very controlled versions of each other, don’t you think? I’m the adorable, funny, creative, passionate Hoshi, and you’re… you. We’ve never seen each other at our darker moments or backstage or beyond the text of this story. So who knows if we’d actually like each other, you know?”

Deep just… keeps getting… deeper.

“I’ll tell you what, though,” Soonyoung smiled, “While we may not know for sure about each other, I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t mind having a midnight Denny’s run with you.”

____________________________________

A/N: Wowee. That was something. Anyway, in this case, Eggtart’s love life is totally a democracy, let me know you think they should end up with.

Other Pokemon in Seungcheol’s Pokedex:  
Cheolbat   
Ponycheol   
Raticheol   
Picheolotto   
Cheolteon   
Macheol  
Cheolpoke  
Cheoldeen  
Tancheola   
Pikacheol  
Cheolzee   
Psycheol   
Jigglycheol


	7. Chapter 7

The Seventeen/Denny’s AU no one asked for.

Content: Seventeen and Reader at Denny’s.

Warning: Absolutely no continuity with chapter six.

A/N: As of March 6th, 2017, it has been 202 days since I last updated this fic. What have I been doing for the last 202 days, you ask? Chillin’ lol

Recap: it literally does not matter where we left off in chapter six, this is a whole new story lmao im sorry  
_____________________________________

Chapter 7: The Paintball Episode from Community Pt. 1

For Kwon Soonyoung, Wednesdays meant having lunch in Seungcheol’s car. He didn’t remember falling asleep but, alas, he awoke from his nap with the remains of his Subway sandwich in his lap. He rolled the knots out of his shoulder before stepping out of the car.

He came face to face with a trash wasteland that was once the school parking lot. He looked around confusedly at his paint-stained surroundings, even Seungcheol’s car. Good thing the older man knew nothing about Soonyoung’s Wednesday lunch venue. 

Soonyoung made his way back into the humanities building, careful to not trip on any debris which seemed to be scattered all over his college campus. What was even weirder was the fact that... there wasn’t a single soul in sight. The humanities building was desolate. He looked at his watch to make sure he hadn’t slept through the apocalypse.

“Strange... classes should still be going on...” he murmured before calling out, “HELLOOOO--mmph!”

Someone grabbed Soonyoung from behind and clamped their hand over his mouth before pulling him into one of the class rooms. He writhed out of their grip and spun around to face them.

“Eggs?!” He exclaimed, appalled at the sight of his Thursday lunch buddy.

“Keep it down!” You whisper shouted, glancing out the door’s glass window before the shades over it. “What in the heck were doing out there?”

Soonyoung’s jaw dropped. With your dirty tank top tucked into your camouflage pants duct taped at the ankles over your Converse highs, he should have been the one to ask you that question. 

When you saw the confused look on Soonyoung’s face, you asked instead, “Did you get any paint on your clothes?”

“What? No?” He answered, “What’s going on? I thought we were at summer camp! Didn’t we just get out of a duck boat? What about Dennys!? What is happening?”

“Dude, we’re, like, well into March,” you said, “It’s been 202 days since the Denny’s camp thing. What do you think is going on?”

You lifted your paint pistols and then gestured to your tool belt full of ammo. Soonyoung’s eyes widened in horror. 

“This is paintball.”

\-----

“So what’s the prize this time?” Soonyoung whispered as he followed closely behind you through the hallway.

“A two-hundred-dollar Denny’s gift card,” you answered.

“Two hundred dollars!?” 

“Shh!” 

“Sorry...” Soonyoung felt bad as he watched your muscles tense, tightening your hands around your pistol, whipping your head in every direction to make sure the two of you weren’t being targeted. “Hey... can I have your other pistol?”

“Absolutely not.”

“What, why?” He grabbed your shoulders and spun you around to look at him and while his eyes met yours, the barrel of your gun also met his abdomen. “You don’t trust me?”

You said nothing and just studied his face.

“Come on, Eggs...”

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of this,” you said, just above a whisper. 

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean,” Soonyoung stepped closer to you, so close that the heat radiating from his body started hitting your senses, “but I can’t stay out of it.”

At lightning speed, Soonyoung reaches around to the back of your belt to grab your other pistol and loops his other arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. He pivots a 180 and lets off a shot down the hallway the two of you had just walked through. 

“Balls, I missed him!” Soonyoung grabs your hand and starts running. 

“Missed who!?” You stumble at first and then match his speed.

“Seungcheol, he was following us!”

“I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN EATING SUBWAY IN MY CAR, SOONYOUNG!” You hear Seungcheol yell from a different hallway.

“This way,” Soonyoung leads you left but to both of your dismay, Seungcheol had taken an alternate route to corner you. Luckily, you and Soonyoung were prepared to shoot.

“You can’t shoot both of us,” Soonyoung smirked.

Just as he said that, Chan popped out of a neighboring trashcan, pistol drawn, “Think again.”

“Chan!? You’re siding with Seungcheol!? And you go to school here?” Soonyoung raised an eyebrow.

“We’re well into March, dude,” Chan replies “and I’m on your dance team!”

Soonyoung surveys the situation and every outcome ends with all four people getting blasted with paint. “Tell you what, if you let me and Eggs walk, I’ll give you a solo and I’ll stop eating in your car,” he says to Chan and then Seungcheol.

“No deal,” Seungcheol says, “hand Eggs over and maybe we’ll let you off.”

“What?” You say, genuinely confused until you remember that even though Soonyoung is the protagonist of this chapter, you’re probably still the chosen one. Maybe the Denny’s gift card is, like, implanted in your brain or something.

“I’m not going to ‘hand her over’ like some trophy,” Soonyoung affirms.

“Fine. Eggs,” Seungcheol turns to you, “Choose. Me or him. Or Joshua, or Wonwoo, or Mr. Denny’s himself-- you’ve been really ambiguous as to who you’re going to end up with!”

“I don’t know, okay!?” You once again tighten your hands around the grip, “I’m just here for a laugh, to be honest.”

“That’s not how this works!” Seungcheol’s frustration grows. “You got 6 notes on this story 202 days ago! If you don’t end up with one of us before chapter 10, then what’s the point!?”

“Fine! I’ll play by your stupid rules!” You yell before turning the tables on Soonyoung and throwing and arm around his waist and throwing your other hand up into a peace sign. 

“Between you and Soonyoung, I choose this one,” You say as both you and Soonyoung fade from the scene.

\-----

“What kinda Statefarm Nationwide Allstate BS was that?” Soonyoung asks as you reform in the classroom you were in previously. 

“You know, the meme?”

“What meme?”

image  
“You know... this one...”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, we need some sort of plan,” you say. “We can’t get out of this building with Seungcheol and his team around, I’ll be damned if I lose because of Chan and his trash can monopoly. He probably has people at every entrance now.”

“There is another way out,” Mingyu says.

“Where did you come from?” Soonyoung says. At this point, nothing really sounds like a question that deserves any kind of explanation, but here’s one anyway.

“Mingyu and I are already pre-established members of your alliance,” Wonwoo answers, “Along with Seokmin, Jihoon, and Jun, but they’re not in the room right now.”

“Okay, whatever, what other way out is there?”

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu, “Elaborate heist?”

“Elaborate heist.”


End file.
